We had a lovely
little dog, a brown and white Jack
Russel
whose back legs
had arthritis and couldn’t move a muscle.
We took him to the vets, a German name of
‘Viels’
Who amputated at
the hips and fitted him with wheels.
So now he doesn’t
need a car or lamppost when he goes.
He pisses on his
own wheels whilst standing on his nose
And entertains the
children,
especially one
called Michael,
by doing tricks
more suited to a unicycle.
For a large amount
of cash
We entered him for
Crufts Paralympics seven mile dash
(for toy dogs)
but on a bend a
wheel came off and he hit the arena walls
causing a very
nasty crash and severe swelling to his balls.
We had a ramp
especially made to get him through the flap
(I should have
mentioned previously, we also had a cat)
It didn’t work
though – just our luck.
He got so far and
then got stuck.
He tried his hardest I’ll give him that
But his doggie
dick just wouldn’t lie flat.
The moral of this
story is
If you want to
make your pet
More mobile
without a hitch
Just make sure
you’ve got a bitch
© Ben Corde 2012
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