Knights In Ardour

The two knights, Sir Lancemenot in blue strip and Sir Gladhehad in red, faced each other at opposite ends of the jousting arena. Lances and shields at the ready they prepared to do battle.
Lady Guinowhere, in her seat in the King's stand stroked her growing bulge lovingly.
The bee flew into Lancemenot’s helmet just as he snapped the visor shut. For a few brief moments, metal clad limbs, thrashed about wildly, before toppling ignominiously off the horse in a clanking, groaning heap. 

The stricken knight ripped off his helmet just in time and smiled with relief as the bee flew off without stinging him, but it disappeared almost immediately as Gladhehad smashed his head in with a spiked ball on a chain.

 Lancemenot, eyes watering, tried to stand up but his armour was too much of an impediment. He watched helplessly as the red knight swung his sword to deliver the coup de grace. He had just enough time to scream ‘It’ll still be my bastard!’ before his head was detached and kicked into touch. 

Some spectators shouted ‘foul play’ and ‘we want our money back’ while Lady Guinowhere spewed up her morning sickness over King Arthur’s favourite hunting dog. The wedding was definitely off barring a miracle.

Copyright Harry Hunt 2014